The Hidden Compulsion Keeping You Stuck

Mental Checking: The Hidden OCD Compulsion Keeping You Stuck

You think you're doing exposures correctly, but there's one hidden compulsion keeping you stuck: mental checking. Learn how to recognize it and the 3-step system to stop it.

The Compulsion You're Doing Right Now

You think you're doing exposures.

You think you're beating OCD.

But there's one compulsion you're doing right now.

Literally right now. Probably maybe as you're reading this.

You might not even know it.

It's OCD's favorite trick.

The one that keeps you stuck even though you're doing everything right.

It's Called Mental Checking

Not the physical checking.

Not going back to see if the door is locked.

The mental checking.

And it's so subtle, you probably think: "I'm just having thoughts."

Here's What It Actually Looks Like

Scenario 1: Contamination OCD

You're doing an exposure.

You're touching the doorknob without washing your hands. Good.

But then for the next hour, you're scanning your body:

"Do I feel contaminated?"
"Am I anxious?"
"Is this working?"
"Did the exposure work?"

Scenario 2: Relationship OCD

You resist asking for reassurance from your partner. Great.

But then you spend the rest of the day mentally reviewing:

"What was their facial expression?"
"Did they seem upset?"
"Was their tone off?"

Scenario 3: Hit-and-Run OCD

You drive without checking your rearview mirror. Perfect.

But then:

You listen to every sound your car makes
You're replaying that route in your head
You're checking the news for accidents

What Just Happened?

You've stopped the physical compulsion. Which is awesome.

But you've replaced it with a mental one.

And OCD loves this.

Why Mental Checking Feels Different

Mental checking feels productive.

It feels like you're:

Monitoring your progress
Staying aware
Being mindful of your symptoms

But you're actually just seeking certainty.

And it happens so automatically, you don't even know what's happening.

The Questions That Keep You Stuck

You might be asking yourself:

"Did I do this right?"
"Am I still anxious?"
"Is the exposure working?"
"Do I feel different?"

Every time you do this, you're telling your brain:

"This matters. We need to know the answer."

That's the compulsion.

How Mental Checking Infiltrates Treatment

Mental checking often infiltrates even the idea of doing treatment correctly:

"Okay, I did an exposure. How do I feel?"

"Oh, my heart's still beating. Maybe I didn't do it right."

"I'm still anxious about it. I'm still having intrusive thoughts. Probably not working."

As long as you're still doing that, you're stuck.

Because the whole point of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is to practice not knowing.

Not to replace one way of checking with another.

How to Know If You're Doing This

Ask yourself after the exposure:

"What am I doing right now?"

If the answer is:

Scanning my body for symptoms
Reviewing what just happened
Analyzing if I feel a certain way
Asking myself "did that work?"
Monitoring my anxiety levels
Checking if the thought is still there

That's mental checking. That's a compulsion.

The Easy Test

If you're paying more attention to yourself AFTER you did the exposure, you're probably mentally checking somewhere in there.

The goal of the exposure isn't to watch yourself like a science experiment.

It's to do the thing and move on with your life.

But lots of people do exposures and spend the next hour analyzing everything.

The 3-Step System to Stop Mental Checking

Step 1: Notice It Out Loud (If You Can)

"I am checking right now."

"What am I trying to know?"

"I want to know if this thought is still here after I did this exposure."

That's it. Just know that.

Don't beat yourself up. Don't try to stop the thoughts.

You just name it.

"This is what I'm trying to know."

Step 2: Redirect Your Attention to What You're Actually Doing

"Oh yeah, I was studying right now."

"I was cooking dinner."

"I was about to go take a shower."

"Let's go play football with my friends."

You did that exposure. Cool.

Go back to what you were doing before.

Do that.

Important: Do NOT Distract Yourself From the Anxiety

Let the thoughts flow.

If your brain wants to continually mentally check, you're going to give some responses:

"Maybe I did it wrong. Maybe I'll feel this all day long. Awesome."
"That sensation is still there. That must mean something about me. Yeah, maybe it does, maybe it doesn't."

Use "maybe, maybe not" to any mental check.

Write It Down If You Need To

If your brain just will not stop mentally checking:

Write down the threat
Write down the response
Write down the threat
Write down the response
Smile. Act like you don't care.

"I'm so glad you're here right now as I just finished this exposure."

Step 3: Do the Exposure Again Without Checking

That's the key.

Most people think: "Okay, I'm done. I did it. Did the exposure once. Did the scary thing."

But if you spend the next hour mentally checking, you might not have actually finished the exposure.

So we learn from every experience.

"I'm going to go touch that doorknob again, and then I'm going to go back to life."

I'm not going to body scan
I'm not going to review
I'm not going to analyze

If it happens, I'm not going to respond the way OCD wants me to.

The Exposure Is Action PLUS Response Prevention

The exposure is the action PLUS the response prevention.

Not just facing your fear.

I know it can be very automatic.

The Hardest Part About ERP Isn't the Exposure

It's actually what comes after.

Yeah, you could go touch the most contaminated thing in the world—as long as you knew you could wash your hands, shower, spray yourself afterward.

You could do it.

But what if you didn't have to do all those things?

The real work is after.

What to Be Aware Of

After I did the exposure, what am I doing?

Am I mentally checking?

I need to stop that.

Try This

Maybe take a moment and:

Close your eyes
Relax
Let the thoughts flow

"Oh, I love this sensation. This is great."

"I'm still having these thoughts. The exposure didn't work. Awesome. Sweet. I'm so glad it didn't work."

It's All About Uncertainty

We don't want to figure this stuff out.

No matter what it is. Whatever the threat is. Whatever your brain is saying.

Our job is to not know.

To say:

"Let me go do the action."
"Let me give some maybe, maybe not responses."
"Let me just focus on my body, see how I'm feeling. That's great. That's awesome."
"It didn't go away. Sweet. Awesome. Oh, cool."

And then go back to life.

"I'm going to go play this video game because that's what I was going to do."

You're Not Going to Feel Like the Exposure Worked

That's okay.

Doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

Doesn't mean you have to wait to do another one.

Your brain wants certainty so bad.

But you're not playing its game.

Instead:

Do the exposure
Refuse to check
Keep living your life
Do this again and again and again

Your Action Plan for Today

Pull out your phone or a notepad.

Write down the last exposure you did.

If you haven't done one yet, learn about them and maybe start trying it.

Track What You Did After

Write down everything you did after the exposure.

If you can't think about it, do it for the next exposure you have.

Ask yourself:

Am I thinking about this way after the exposure?
Am I body scanning?
Am I reviewing what happened?
Am I monitoring my anxiety levels?
Am I monitoring my thoughts?

Keep track because it's going to follow a pattern.

It's probably going to want to do this again next time.

Write Down Your Plan

What am I going to do next time I do this exposure?

Example:

"I'm going to touch the doorknob immediately. Go sit on the couch, watch TV—because that's what I was going to do."

"My brain says: 'Check if you're contaminated. You can't touch this. You can't do this.'"

"I'm going to say: 'Oh great. Now that you just said that, let me go touch everything. Awesome. Let me fold my arms. Just enjoy this feeling. Hope I did that exposure wrong. Amazing.'"

"That's my plan. I've written it down. That's what I'm going to do."

The hard part is following that plan.

Do the scary thing. You can do it.

Expose. Do the action. Move on with life.