When Your Worst OCD Fear Actually Happens: Reddit Q&A

OCD therapist answers real Reddit questions including what to do when your worst fear comes true, recognizing hidden compulsions, sleeping to cope with anxiety, and why OCD makes you feel out of touch with reality.

Question #1: My Biggest Fear Happened in Real Life. Now What?

"My biggest fear happened in real life. My compulsions are mostly about checking behaviors—checking the stove, the sink for water so it doesn't flood, checking plugs. I had a meltdown last weekend and decided not to give into the urge to check. I checked only once before I went to sleep. My boyfriend reassured me that if I check just one more time, it's going to be all right. Well, I woke up at midnight to my place flooding clean water. It wasn't because of the sink. Another thing in the bathroom broke and started spraying around. My place flooded. Now I don't know what to do with this information. Should I say, 'The worst thing I was afraid of happened and I was able to cope with it,' or 'My fear came true, so others can come true too'?"

The Answer

Thanks to this person for sharing this story.

Because this is something we don't talk about very often:

Can your fear actually come true?

I know you're sitting there with your ears perked.

"Wait a second. If he says yes, then I'm in danger."

Here's What We Know

Anything is possible.

Why? This is why we use "maybe, maybe not" statements.

Anything's possible. We don't know.

But what I DO know is that when it happens, it ends up being an experience similar to this:

"Okay, it happened. But it actually wasn't as bad as I anticipated."

What Actually Happened

Think through the moment:

You woke up. You saw the flood. You thought:

• "Oh no, I better figure out where that's coming from."
• "I better put some towels down."
• "I better fix the problem."

There was an actual problem you could solve in that moment.

And I bet your body went straight into that mode and you fixed the problem.

What OCD Does

OCD and anxiety say:

"Hey, just in case there's going to be a problem, let me give you all these ideas:"

• Check the sink
• Turn this off
• Check the plugs

It's all "just in case."

But you're reacting to something that hasn't even happened yet.

Just Because One Thing Happened...

Just because one thing happened doesn't mean all your fears are going to come true now.

We're actually still saying: "I don't know. Sure. Maybe, maybe not."

But I'm not going to do anything to prevent a fear from happening.

I'm going to live my life and see what happens.

Question #2: Food-Related Problems With OCD—Is This a Thing?

"Lately, when my OCD fluctuates to being worse than normal, I have started to have the compulsion to not eat. I don't dislike my body or want to lose weight. I just wondered if anyone else has the same thing."

The Answer

I can tell you for me specifically: when I feel extremely anxious, I don't want to eat. I don't have an appetite.

But I DO see this become a compulsion for some people depending on what their OCD or anxiety is about:

• If I'm worried about getting sick → probably not going to eat
• If I'm worried about throwing up → probably not going to eat
• If it's related to eating in any way → not eating becomes a big compulsion

Is It a Symptom or a Compulsion?

Whether it's a symptom of anxiety/OCD or a compulsion, you have to figure it out for yourself.

We've got to keep our bodies healthy.

We've got to:

• Drink water
• Exercise
• Do all the things that keep us going—even if we don't feel like it

Question #3: Compulsions You Do So Often You Forget They're Compulsions

"Does anyone else have a compulsion or compulsions that you do so often that they just blend into your normal routine? For me, I have this thing where every time I have a bad intrusive thought, I have to look outside through my blinds while simultaneously blowing out my mouth as if to expel the bad thoughts. I find myself doing this so often that I forget it's even considered a compulsion."

The Answer

Yeah, man.

I've talked to so many individuals where their compulsion becomes so automatic they forget.

"I've done this so much every single day, it just happens."

Does It Matter?

The part I look at is: Does it actually interfere with my life, or is it just something I do?

If it's just something you do and it doesn't interfere—whatever. You might just keep doing it.

But if you're stuck at the window for 10 minutes exhaling or inhaling? No. We don't want to do that.

How to Stop Automatic Compulsions

Usually these compulsions follow a pattern.

You mentioned a moment where this compulsion happens (at the window).

So you'd be aware the next time you're at that window if that's something you want to stop:

1. Put a sticky note there to remind yourself
2. "Hey, I'm not doing the compulsion"
3. "I'm willing to feel the anxiety"
4. Ask: "What does it mean if I don't do this?"
5. Let yourself feel that feeling and be uncertain about it
6. Practice this day after day

Question #4: Does Anyone Else Sleep to Cope?

"Does anyone find themselves sleeping through their obsession episodes? Sometimes working and taking care of my pets and partner is all about minimally what I can do—otherwise I'm sleeping. Is this common? I just don't know how to sit with the uncertainty sometimes, so I choose to sleep."

The Answer

Yeah, super common.

When I hear this, I think of depression.

Not everybody has to have that, but depression often makes people sleepy.

It's easy to sleep to not have to feel some of these emotions.

Why People Sleep to Cope

Depending on the person:

• You're having so many thoughts all day long—just to get them to stop, you sleep
• So much energy is being used—you're exhausted

Ask Yourself

Am I taking a nap right now to get out of these feelings and emotions, or am I taking a nap because I'm just tired?

I like taking naps. They're great.

But if it's ONLY to get out of emotions:

Choose to stay awake.

Don't just sit on the couch like: "Great, I'm awake. This is horrible."

Instead:

• "Cool. Let me go find things I possibly don't want to do."
• "Maybe I don't want to exercise. I'm going to exercise."
• "I don't want to go to the movie. I'm going to go to a movie."

Add some exposure therapy into those moments.

Make them intentional.

"If I don't want to think about these thoughts, let me think about them—but change my reaction to it."

Question #5: Struggling to Wake Up and Start the Day

"I'm going through a very intense OCD episode and it feels like all the memories and emotions run through me the second I wake up. Does anyone else experience this? It makes me so stressed out for the day and I feel defeated already. I don't know what to do anymore."

The Answer

This is what happens:

People wake up in the morning.

Their brain automatically says: "How you doing? How you feeling?"

And that just brings on symptoms:

• "Yep, it's still there."
• "Here's all the thoughts you don't want for the day."
• "Yeah, you're still feeling anxious."
• "Remember, you haven't figured this thing out."

OCD loves to start the day that way.

Why This Happens

I think about a sickness I had three weeks ago.

I'd wake up thinking: "Why will this not go away?"

Wake up the next morning: "Oh, so stuffy."

Next morning: "Yeah, it's still there."

It was the first thing that came to my mind: "Am I doing well? Am I improving?"

But focusing on symptoms and how I'm feeling actually makes it worse.

What to Do Instead

Wake up in the morning and say:

"Yeah, boy. I love these thoughts. Bring them my way. Memories, emotions. Sweet."

Maybe the second you wake up:

• Grab your notepad
• Write out all the exposures you want to do
• Look at a picture you'd normally avoid
• Start your day with an exposure

Say: "I want this here."

Your brain learns: "Oh. They don't care."

Question #6: I Wish People Talked About How Out of Touch With Reality OCD Makes You

"I've been diagnosed with OCD for about 3 years now. I'm on medication and try my best to involve myself in online communities. However, I've noticed people don't really talk about how out of touch with reality this disorder can make you. My obsessions are very unrealistic and very vivid. I find it interesting how our brains can trick us—though deep down we know this isn't real."

The Answer

Yeah, man. It's tough.

These thoughts can feel absolutely real.

Even if some part of your brain is saying "this doesn't make sense," the other part is saying "it does and you better do something about it."

Do the compulsion.

What People Are Really Saying

When people talk about their OCD symptoms, this IS what they're saying:

• "I'm out of touch with reality."
• "I don't understand what's going on."
• "I just want to stop, but I can't stop."

What Helps

Some people write down specifically:

"Here are all my OCD symptoms. All the things I know are not real."

They're not real.

Doesn't matter if they FEEL real in the moment.

Right now, I'm saying they're not real.

Then they get really good at coming up with exposures for that.

When the time comes—the next time I have this thought, feeling, emotion—here's my go-to plan:

Instead of debating "Is this real?" in the moment, just go do the exposure.

Your job isn't to convince yourself if it's real.

Your job is to do the exposure.

Question #7: I Have OCD and I'm Very Emotional. Do They Go Together?

"I have OCD and I'm very emotional as well. I was wondering if they went together at all."

The Answer

Yeah.

Think about all these thoughts happening throughout the entire day.

Your brain puts meaning on them:

• "This is dangerous. This is not."
• "This causes anxiety. This doesn't."
• "Feel bad about yourself for that one."

It's going to cause a lot of emotions—whether they're false in that moment or not.

Not Every Emotion Means Something

We've been told: "If you feel an emotion, it's valid and real."

But that can backfire with OCD.

Not every emotion means something.

Just like I treat anxiety as a false signal, I treat some emotions as false signals too:

• Am I feeling guilt or shame?
• Am I feeling like a bad person?

Let me just have those feelings.

I don't have to put meaning to it.

The Action Plan

I always love an action plan:

"What am I going to do now that I feel this?"

• Let me sit here and embrace these emotions
• Act like I don't care

Final Thoughts: Be Careful With Reddit

Do you go on Reddit?

You can learn a lot on there.

But you can also do a lot of compulsive behavior. Be careful.

Use it to feel heard and understood.

Don't use it for reassurance.

Nathan Peterson, LCSW
OCD and Anxiety Specialist
Creator of "OCD and Anxiety" YouTube Channel
Developer of Master Your OCD Online Course