Intention Questioning: The Hidden OCD Trap Derailing Your Recovery

There is something quietly derailing your OCD recovery: the constant questioning of your intentions. "Did I want to feel this way?" "Am I secretly enjoying these thoughts?" This mental pattern is actually reinforcing your OCD, turning normal uncertainty into fuel for obsessions.

As therapists, we've told you to use exposures to face your fears. But what do you do when your brain backfires and starts to question your intentions and motivations? In this post, I'm going to share a cognitive restructuring framework that transforms these intention doubts into stepping stones for progress—strategies you can implement right away.

When Exposures Backfire: The Intention Trap

You're in the middle of your exposure exercise, facing your fears like your therapist suggested, when suddenly your brain whispers:

This is when everything falls apart.

To make more sense of this, let's take the example of doing an exposure of watching a video that might be triggering. Your brain may say:

It is sneaky, and it's what we call "intention questioning"—a hidden compulsion disguised as legitimate concern. But with OCD, we already know it tricks us.

Why Your Brain Questions Your Intentions

When you're doing exposure therapy, your brain gets uncomfortable. It doesn't like uncertainty—it wants to know things for sure. Like an overprotective parent, it's just doing its job; it doesn't want you to feel anxious, so it starts to question everything.

It's this urge to know something right now, to figure it out: What are your motives? Are you pure? Are you sure you're even doing the right treatment?

What makes this extra tricky is that OCD is strategic about it—it goes after what you value most. If being a good person deeply matters to you, it will make you question this over and over again, bringing feelings of shame and guilt that knock you off track.

The Body Sensation Trap

A really common version of this is when OCD makes people worry about their bodily sensations. "Maybe I don't want to be aroused," so the brain says, "You probably wanted to be aroused on purpose. You're doing this. You can feel this sensation."

These are lies, lies, lies.

The Real Problem: Needing 100% Certainty

Your brain tells you that you must resolve these doubts right now, but the real problem isn't your intentions at all—it's the belief that you need to know 100% if you're good or bad, if you like it or don't like it, if you're okay.

I totally get wanting that certainty, but we're not going to get that 100% answer. This is another mental compulsion that just keeps people in rumination—thinking about it, thinking about it, trying to know for sure. Maybe you avoid doing the exposure (the thing that's going to make you feel better long-term) because OCD wants to stick around.

It heightens your sense of responsibility: "You need to know before you do this. You need to know." It makes you feel guilt and shame.

Breaking Free: Recognizing Intention Questions as OCD Symptoms

The first step to breaking free is recognizing these intention questions for what they really are: OCD symptoms, not legitimate concerns that you need answers for.

"Did I want to do this exposure?" I'm going to teach you what we're going to say to that question, because your brain is essentially responding to a faulty alarm that's going off. We need to teach it: "No, stop it. I'm not falling for this anymore. It does not demand my attention."

The "Maybe, Maybe Not" Response

You've probably watched my other videos. Do you see anything in the back? Oh, there it is: "Maybe, maybe not."

We can even use it for something like this: "Was it my intention to feel this sensation?"

"Totally! Sure! Maybe! I don't know! Love it! Great! Cool!"

Your OCD says: "That means you like it. If you did this for sure, then I verified that you really like it."

Your response: "Yeah, cool! Thanks! Love it! I love that thought. Great! Thanks for bringing that my way! Hey, you know what? Maybe I do, maybe I don't, but I'm going to keep doing the exposure because that is what I need to do."

Real-Life Examples of Intention Questioning

Think about other things in your life. Your dog walks in front of you, and you accidentally trip over the dog. You didn't intend to trip over the dog—you didn't know he was there. You don't have to question your intentions.

But if your brain starts questioning: "Did you want to do that on purpose? Did you want to hurt your dog? Are you a bad person now?"

No. False signals. We don't have to question intentions. So if you are, we're just going to chalk that up as OCD and say, "No, we're not going there. We're not doing that today."

To me, this feels like OCD's last-ditch effort: "I don't want to go anywhere! If I can make you not do this treatment, you're golden. I'm here to keep you safe. I'm going to trick you, make you think that your intentions are wrong."

No, no, no. We're not falling for that.

Practical Strategies: Hitting Exposures Even Harder

Here's a practical way we're going to take care of this. We already know the "maybe, maybe not" approach, but whatever the exposure is, we're going to hit it even harder.

"Hitting hard" means: I'm touching this blanket, and it's making me feel nervous? Cool, I'm going to touch it even harder. I'm going to give it a big hug.

Whatever my thoughts say—"You're doing this on purpose because you like blah blah blah"—yeah, maybe. I don't know. But I'm going to show you how much I don't care about the thing you just told me.

You are telling your brain "So what?" Your job is to just go live life. Go do it. You can have doubts. You can have questions. But don't let that stop you from doing the things you want to do.

You can even say: "Hi, welcome OCD! Welcome to the party! I'm glad you're here! Oh, you're making me doubt? Sweet! I love that! So cool! My intentions? Oh yeah, great! Love it! I'm going to go do that exposure again just because you made me doubt it."

The Power of "Totally"

Do you know what exposures are? I know I've talked about them through all of my videos, but we are facing fears, responding differently, acting like we don't care, retraining our brain to say "I don't care anymore"—and these thoughts start slowing down.

I've always loved the word "totally." Think about that. I know we use some "maybe, maybe nots," but what if I was just like:

"Totally! Are you sure you wanted to do that? Totally! Your intentions are bad? Totally! That makes you a bad person? Totally!"

It's like the brain is just like, "What are you doing? You're supposed to be scared! Why aren't you scared?"

It actually is an annoying answer to give back to your brain. It's annoying you? Let's annoy it back!

Final Thoughts: Progress, Not Perfection

If you notice yourself getting stuck in these intention questions during exposures, it doesn't mean that you're failing at recovery. It means you've found the perfect opportunity to practice what matters most.

Remember, recovery isn't about never having these thoughts—it's about changing how you respond to them. Each time you recognize intention questioning for what it is and respond differently, you're taking a step forward.

I'm curious: has your brain ever made you question your intentions? Let me know in the comments.

Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you next time.